Hair They Are, the Punniest Salon Names in America

(Photos: Jacob Haller (Sunny and Shears, From Hair 2 E-Tan-ity); Jeannie O (Intl. Hairport); Kirsten Ruud (I Kneaded This); Jane Nagle (Jack of all Fades); Todd Tracy (Grateful Head); Emily C Hughes (Unbeweavable); Andrew Cafourek (Curl up & Dye))

Remember the hair salon on The Simpsons called “Curl Up And Dye”? I remember laughing my head off at that, not just because it’s a good double pun (both “curl up” and “dye” are hair-relevant), but because the phrase that’s being punned on is so off-putting. Who would name their business “curl up and die”?

Turns out, fully 30 different places would, from California to Maine (plus a Kurl Up & Dye in Texas). There are also several other death/grievous bodily harm puns (I’ll Cut You), and a slew of raunchy ones (Finger Bang). A surprisingly large number of salon names make some kind of pun on airplanes and airports, despite the fact that association with air travel has never made a business sound appealing. There’s even a salon called Hairitics Dye For Your Beliefs. Sure, it evokes religiously-motivated murder, but by God, they’re committed to the pun.

In short, if there’s one thing you can say for sure about hair and nail salons, it is this: they don’t really care if their name suggests something unsavory. Execution? Ghosts? Fox News? If it rhymes with something relating to nails or haircuts, bring it on.

Some of the highlights (GET IT?):

—25 puns on (h)airports, (h)airlines, or (h)airplanes

—7 (H)Air Force Ones

—8 variations on “Best Little Hairhouse”

—4 harem/hairem jokes

—6 references to the police/judicial process: 3 ”crops and bobbers” variants, 3 “electric chair” jokes, and a “Hair Street Blues”

Editor’s picks:

Barberella (Hamtramck, MI)

Clip Art (Lexington, KY)

Combing Attractions (Conway, NH)

Dye Pretty (Round Rock, TX)

Finger Bang (Portland, OR)

Hairaphernalia (St. Louis Park, MN)

Hairitics Dye For Your Beliefs (Chicago, IL)

Hannah And Her Scissors (Miami, FL)

Lice Knowing You (Portland, OR)

Nail Me Good (Hazelwood, MO)

Scissors Palace (Las Vegas, NV)

Shear Lock Combs (St. Peters, MO)

Snip Tease (Toms River, NJ)

The Grateful Head (San Francisco, CA)

You’ve Got Nail ((Brooklyn, NY)

And here is the list of other categories:

Coffee shops

Bar/Pubs 

Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)

Doctors and Dentists

Food Trucks

Pet Care

Restaurants

Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms

The full nail/hair salon list: